Today is 27 weeks since Mike died of bowel cancer which he had for 4 years. Last April 2009 we returned to the UK from N.Spain so it is just over a year that I have been in this apartment in Bognor. I have bittersweet memories of the past year - summer approaching, relations visiting, Mike buying me gifts with 'thankyou' notes regarding our life and love together, caring for Mike and having the honour of attending to all his most intimate needs, Mike deteriorating before my eyes and dying on 10 November, at home with his family where he wanted to be - the depth of love between us in that last year was greater than it had ever been, and I can look back on it with a mixture of sadness and joy - I have images of him looking very ill but always with a lovely, lovely smile on his face. Mike is still in London at the moment, as he donated his body to the London Anatomy Office for the purpose of education and research etc and this Friday 21 May I will be attending a thanksgiving service in London for all those whose bodies were donated. Last week was a particularly bad one for me, and at the moment I am trying so very hard to be positive and optimistic about life, but as I write this the tears are starting. I want to be really strong and proud of Mike when I go to London on Friday, and dont want to let him down by breaking down in tears. This will be the last meaningful and difficult thing I do for my much loved husband.